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Loving Your Teenager (In Spite of Themselves)
by © Judith Tramayne-Barth
SENSE OF HUMOR
Especially when your little sweetheart is ranting, raving and having a _ _ _ _ fit for no reason other than you are breathing in their space. Yes, you could deck them but then they are controlling you, not you them.
No what you should do in this situation is merely smile or even laugh. Once they realize they're not upsetting you, they'll do one of two things. Say "you're hopeless" and stomp off in a huff, leaving you with peace and quiet (not a bad thing) or they'll ask you why you're smiling. You then answer, "I was thinking how much you remind me of myself when I was your age."
This should stop them in their tracks — "Like their mother or father — oh yuk". Just watch their behavior change. The whole point of rebelling is to be different. With one little statement, you've taken away their motivation. Chances are they will try to upset you again, so you'll smile your little knowing smile and before long, they'll get the message:
You can't be their victim if you're smiling.
And if you consciously think back to your teen years, your teen is probably no worse than you were. Maybe just a teensy bit more spoiled but who's to blame for that? The object here is to survive their hormonal changes while coping with your own. A sense of humor will do that. It will lighten your load considerably. True there is acceptable and unacceptable behavior; but, if your child is merely running off at the mouth occasionally and not doing drugs or drinking, consider yourself lucky.
A mouthy teenager is only trying to assert their independence. The same goes for their hair and clothes. If both are clean, why should you care? Your friends will understand, they are either sharing your dilemma or have already gone through it. The key to understanding your teenager is:
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